recently watched "i love you, man"

then i realised my circle of friends are minimalising.
and it kinda scares me.
when i say friends
as in people who i can really count on.
not just those hi and bye friends
who come and go as they like.

so far wenyan has been the only one i've been constantly meeting
the reason why we have been able to meet up
is probably becos we're willing to take time out of busy schedule.

i really do miss my friends in sec sch
but i'm really scared to organised something and get rejected all over again like before.
so it's pointless afterall.


i'm kinda depressed.
and really sorry.
sigh.
many times i just think that i'm not suitable to be a nurse
i'm too careless too blur.
i don't know.

i was having terrible gastric pain which last all the way up til now.
i was totally dying.
yet i shld have checked on it.
sigh.
i just don't know.
this sucks.
truely sucks.
i'm not blaming people for not teaching me.
i guess i'm just not proactive enough.
sigh.
this is sucky!
i've never felt this terrible before.
i'm just not good enough.

ahh! :(


i don't mean to be straight forward or to be stupid with my words.
sometimes it sucks to have friends
cos in the end you're left with only friend.

quit saying about meeting up when meeting up never come true.
i believe if you really make an effort to do so,
we would have met up.
i guess people have different piority and different level of friendship
and different level of friendship is being placed at different priority.
it sucks to be proven that our friendship is being placed so lowly.
really.
i don't wanna sulk about it.
but yea
just forget it.
it's good that things somehow turn out to be this way.

i am speechless really.
and disappointed
after all these years.


when all it turns is just for you to back off and get lost.
cos i really don't wanna hear of you.
don't ever wanna meet you.
i hate to have to fake this "friendship"

part of me, deep in me.
still prays for you.
hoping someday you'll be good.
but part of me felt like i've given up long ago.
thinking that you're hopeless.

oh well.
whatever
just stop those stunts
really can't stand you.